How to Support Each Other During the Overstimulating Holiday Season: A Guide for Neurodivergent Couples

Does the Holiday Season Feel Overwhelming?

For neurodivergent couples, the holidays can be both joyful and overwhelming. Between sensory overload, social obligations, and shifting routines, you might find yourself thinking:

• “How do we manage all the noise and chaos together?”

• “Why does this season feel more stressful than festive?”

• “Can we create holiday traditions that work for us?”

The answer is yes.

With intentional planning, communication, and a focus on each other’s needs, you can navigate the holiday season as a team while staying connected and grounded.

Why the Holidays Can Be Challenging for Neurodivergent Couples

The unique traits of neurodivergence—such as sensory sensitivities, differences in social energy, and varying routines—can make the holiday season feel overwhelming.

Common Holiday Challenges:

1. Sensory Overload: • Bright lights, loud music, and crowded gatherings can lead to overstimulation.

2. Social Fatigue: • Extended interactions with family and friends may drain one or both partners.

3. Routine Disruption: • The unpredictability of holiday events can heighten stress or anxiety.

Understanding these dynamics allows you to approach the holidays with empathy and intention.

Practical Tips for Supporting Each Other During the Holidays

1. Create a Shared Holiday Plan

Collaboratively plan your holiday activities to ensure they align with both partners’ needs and limits.

How to Do This:

• Discuss which events or traditions feel most important to each of you.

• Set clear expectations about how much time you’ll spend at each gathering.

• Example: “Let’s stay at the party for an hour, then take a break to recharge at home.”

Why It Works: Planning ahead reduces uncertainty and ensures both partners feel heard and respected.

2. Build Sensory-Safe Breaks Into Your Schedule

Intentionally schedule time to decompress between or during holiday events.

Ideas for Sensory-Safe Breaks:

• Find a quiet room to step away from the crowd during gatherings.

• Take a walk outside together to reset after overstimulating activities.

• Create a calming holiday space at home with soft lighting and soothing textures.

Why It Works: Sensory-safe breaks help prevent overwhelm and allow both partners to recharge.

3. Use Co-Regulation During Stressful Moments

Co-regulation involves supporting each other emotionally and physically when stress arises.

Techniques to Try:

• Hold hands or share a grounding object (like a favorite scarf or small item).

• Practice deep breathing together during stressful interactions.

• Use a calming phrase like: “We’ve got this together.”

Why It Works: Co-regulation strengthens your bond and helps both partners feel supported in real time.

Exercises Through a Gottman, IFS, and Co-Regulation Lens

Creating Connection With Gottman’s “Holiday Rituals of Connection”

Rituals of connection help couples maintain closeness during the busy holiday season.

Exercise to Try:

Choose one simple ritual to share, such as:

• A nightly holiday movie or book.

• Exchanging small, meaningful gifts that represent your bond.

Why It Helps: Shared rituals provide moments of connection and joy amid the holiday chaos.

Exploring Holiday Stress With IFS

Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help couples identify the “parts” within them that feel anxious or resistant during the holidays.

IFS-Based Reflection Questions:

• “What part of me feels overwhelmed by the holidays, and why?”

• “What does this part need to feel calmer or more supported?”

Why It Helps: Understanding stress through parts work fosters self-awareness and compassion for both partners.

Practicing Pre-Event Co-Regulation

Starting from a place of calm can help you navigate holiday events more smoothly.

Exercise to Try:

• Spend 5–10 minutes together before an event engaging in a calming activity, such as deep breathing, a short meditation, or listening to soothing music.

Why It Helps: Pre-event co-regulation creates emotional alignment and reduces tension.

How Neurodivergent Couples’ Intensives Can Help

Navigating the holiday season as a neurodivergent couple often requires tools and strategies tailored to your unique needs.

My neurodivergent couples’ intensive therapy provides 3-hour sessions designed to help you manage holiday stress and strengthen your connection.

Why Intensives Work:

• Focused Support: Extended sessions allow time to explore holiday challenges and develop real-time strategies.

• Integrated Modalities: Each session incorporates Gottman techniques, IFS parts work, and co-regulation exercises for personalized support.

• Lasting Impact: Couples leave each session with actionable tools to navigate both holiday stress and everyday challenges.

Make This Holiday Season a Time for Connection

If you’re ready to navigate the holiday season with more ease and connection, my neurodivergent couples’ intensive therapy is here to help.

Together, we’ll explore strategies to reduce overwhelm and create holiday traditions that honor your relationship. Schedule your consultation today.

Hi, I’m Dawn Leprich-Graves, LCPC, LPC, PMH-C, ASDCS, a licensed individual and couples therapist in IL & SC, coach, teacher and neurodivergent advocate, passionate about helping women embrace their authentic selves and live with intention.

I offer therapy sessions & intensives to support growth, balance, and connection.

Find out more about how I can help support you on your Journey by visiting my websites:

Veraluna Wellness - Psychotherapy and Therapy Intensives for Individuals & Couples

Cultivating Bricolage - Coaching, Courses, Workshops & Memberships for Entrepreneurs

The Therapist Space (Bricolage Collective) - Membership Directory for therapists offering and or looking for office space and/or services therapists need to thrive in their practices