Finding Yourself Again: Reconnecting With Your Identity in the Postpartum Journey
Do You Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself?
Becoming a mom is a profound transformation, but it can also feel like losing pieces of yourself along the way. The activities, interests, and parts of your identity that once felt so clear might now seem distant or irrelevant.
You may wonder:
“Who am I outside of being a mom?”
“Will I ever feel like myself again?”
“How do I balance motherhood with my own needs and desires?”
These questions are normal and valid.
Let’s explore how you can reconnect with your identity, honor the person you’ve always been, and embrace who you are becoming.
Why Identity Feels So Shaky
Postpartum Motherhood is a significant life change that brings new roles, responsibilities, and challenges. It’s natural for these shifts to feel disorienting, especially when so much of your energy is focused on caring for your baby.
Common Reasons for Identity Loss Postpartum:
Shifting priorities and responsibilities that leave little time for self-care.
Internal and external pressures to “be a good mom.”
Feeling disconnected from hobbies, career goals, or relationships that once defined you.
These changes can create a sense of grief for your previous self while leaving you unsure of who you are now.
The Intersection of Motherhood and Identity
Becoming a mom doesn’t mean losing who you were—it means weaving motherhood into your existing identity in a way that feels authentic to you.
What Reconnection Can Look Like:
Honoring your past self while embracing your growth.
Carving out time to nurture your passions and interests.
Setting boundaries that prioritize your needs alongside your baby’s.
Rediscovering your identity isn’t about “going back” to who you were—it’s about integrating your experiences and values into who you are now.
Practicing Curiosity About Identity Loss
Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a gentle way to explore the “parts” of you that feel lost, disconnected, or uncertain.
How to Approach Identity With Curiosity:
Notice Feelings of Disconnection: Example: “I feel like I’ve lost the part of me that loved creativity or adventure.”
Listen to the Part That Feels Lost: Ask: “What does this part miss or need?” Example: “This part misses feeling spontaneous and free.”
Reassure the Part: Example: “I see you, and I want to create space for your needs too.”
Reconnecting With Your Values
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) encourages us to align our actions with our values, even when life feels chaotic.
Reflection Questions for Values-Based Reconnection:
What parts of my identity feel most meaningful (e.g., creativity, connection, independence)?
How can I honor these values in small ways today?
What would it look like to weave these values into my role as a mom? For example, if you value creativity, you might set aside time for a short journaling session or a simple craft project.
Practical Steps to Reconnect With Yourself
Create a Self-Reflection Practice: Spend 5–10 minutes each day journaling about what feels most true to you in the moment.
Revisit Old Passions or Interests: Try returning to hobbies or activities that once brought you joy. Example: Picking up a book from your favorite genre or revisiting a favorite recipe.
Set Boundaries That Honor Your Needs: Example: “I need 30 minutes to myself this evening. Can someone help with the baby during that time?”
Celebrate Who You Are Becoming: Acknowledge the ways you’ve grown and adapted since becoming a mom. Example: “I’ve learned patience and resilience through this journey.”
What Happens When You Reconnect With Yourself?
Reconnecting with your identity allows you to navigate motherhood with a sense of wholeness and authenticity.
By honoring the person you’ve always been AND the person you’re becoming, you create space for a richer, more fulfilling experience—both as a mom and as an individual.
Rediscover Your Identity Through Therapy
If you’re ready to reconnect with your identity and rediscover yourself in the postpartum journey, therapy can help.
At Veraluna Wellness, I offer online psychotherapy services in Chicago, IL, and Charleston, SC, as well as for residents across Illinois and South Carolina.
Together, we’ll explore how to honor your unique identity and create a more balanced motherhood experience. Schedule your consultation today.
Hi, I’m Dawn Leprich-Graves, LCPC, LPC, PMH-C, ASDCS, a licensed individual and couples therapist in IL & SC, coach, teacher and a late diagnosed AuDHD'er-turned neuro-affirming advocate, passionate about helping women embrace their authentic selves and live with intention.
I offer therapy sessions & intensives to support growth, balance, and connection.
Visit my websites to find out more about how I can help support you on your Journey:
Veraluna Wellness - Psychotherapy and Therapy Intensives for Individuals & Couples
Cultivating Bricolage - Coaching, Courses, Workshops & Memberships for Entrepreneurs
The Therapist Space (Bricolage Collective) - Membership Directory for therapists offering and or looking for office space and/or services therapists need to thrive in their practices
